Christmas Eve is here, and I'm surrounded by... an empty house. My room mates have gone to be with family (I'm assuming, since I haven't seen them around .. haha), Javier is working all day, my family is far away (and I'm missing them a lot), and those I know around here are all doing their own thing for the Holiday. It's just me and my thoughts... scary - I may as well be in an insane asylum.

In reality, my thoughts aren't all that terrifying, but the fact that I am so keenly aware of the thousands of them that pass through my mind each minute... I don't know how I haven't developed some psychological disorder. Come, enter the colorful chambers of my mind. I'll let you in on all the thoughts (those I can tell you) on my mind right now:

*Need to: clean my house, pay the bills, cook some food, call the MTC and get my immunization record from them so I can finish the application process to MTSU, start a new gym membership, finally finish my laundry, send some Christmas presents (oops, too late), send some paperwork in to the office, fix the towel bar in my bathroom, unclock the toilet downstairs, fix a leaky pipe (and the mold gathered below the sink) in the OTHER downstairs bathroom, buy some blinds, determine some kind of organization for my kitchen, throw out some food (not mine) that has gone bad, fix (or replace) the front door handle, clean my car, change the oil, get the emmissions checked, register my car in Tennessee, get a Tennessee Drivers License (finally) ... and the list goes on.

THAT small list of current thoughts must have bored you out of your minds. It took me all of 3 minutes to type it, and it's ONLY THE BEGINING of what is on my mind right now. In order to avoid the possibility of forcing someone else into thinking they should send themself to the Cuckoo's nest (should someone actually read this), I'll stop logging my thoughts in massive quantity for now. But you should know that you procceed at your own risk.

Ahhhh, the sweet frangrance of a NEW YEAR - it almost brings me as much pleassure as brushing my fingers across the blank page of a new journal. What goals should I set? The familiar ones, possibily... Lose weight, clear up the skin, save money.

Or maybe I should do something different...

only set ONE goal...

NEW YEARS GOALS:

1. Don't set a single goal ALL YEAR LONG.

Do you think I'm crazy? (maybe a trip to the mental hospital would be a better goal) Honestly though, do I EVER even keep the goals I set? Yes, I'm asking YOU! You know me so well - so TELL ME, have I ever completed a goal I've set personally? Sadly, I can't even think of one. Don't get me wrong, I must boast that I am THE BEST goal setter I've ever met - EVER! Oh but completing, reaching, finishing... doing....ahhh..

OKAY - perk up! No negative thinking! In positive terms, I hope, think, and dream in the future. I LOVE making plans for the comming year - for the next 5 years, 10 years... for my LIFE! When given the choice, I'm more prone to spend my New Years Eve intricately thinking of goals than partying the night away. I'd much rather read Steven Covey and make every list and map he suggests, keeping them in a notebook, on the cover of which I wrote "MY GOALS" in BIG, BOLD, permanent black marker. I'm a planner. I think I learned it from my dad.

But I learned something else too - most likely from others, my environment, and my own experiences... That is procrastination is an easier path - when focussed on the future, but when present knocks at your door, procrastination becomes your ultimate enemy.

So - back to New Years goals. If (FOR ME.. not you, most likely) setting goals = procrastination, and procrastination = ultimate sorrow, THAN setting goals = ultimate sorrow. Wow, suddenly I understand the point of those pythagorisms from 9th grade geometry... sorry, sidetracking again. As I was saying, if I set New Years goals, I'm only setting myself up for failure. THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT. This year, my New Years "GOAL" is to not set any goals, or plans or mission statements or to do lists...

I'll tell you how this will work out. It's time to live in the present, and forget about Mr. Future for a while. I'll get back to him once my RIGHT NOW is worked out. I know what you're thinking... "well, Kalli, you're hypocritical because you said you weren't going to set any goals, and you just set a goal to live in the present," but I'm here to tell you that it is not a goal or a plan or something I'm going to try to incorporate into some "new me," but simply a discovery of a need. Whether I live it or not is up to my day to day actions.

So there you have it - As of January 1st, 2011 I will begin my year without New Years Goals. Should you feel the inclination to see how it goes, and to find out if I actually perform this SINGLE goal I have set, please return. I enjoy your company - just about as much as my empty house. Please, have a merry Christmas, and feel free to add your goals for the New Year below. I would very much appreciate it, since I'm already missing my list of goals - and the Near Year hasn't even started yet.

With many warm wishes this Holiday,
Kalli Dawn